News, New Shews, plus Don'ts and Dews

Sorry for my cyber-estrangement for the past... oh two months, but hopefully we can just pick up where we left off:

I am still in love with my Cowboy Boots and wear them as often as possible. The Opera ended, with a pretty decently successful run. I applied for my passport and have everything in place to go to France in July minus my plane ticket. - - - I am thinking of maybe coming to hang in the New York area post Paris instead of part of the pre-flight happenings. So... that would mean being in New York in early August. The reason for this change of plans opens the 'news' can of worms.

The crux of the situation is that my voice teacher and I have been making a lot of progress over the past few weeks (after the Opera ended) and he really wants me to stay. The program for Spain hasn't materialized yet, meaning I have no other concrete plans for the fall semester... so, he and I talked about possible options and decided to postpone the recital until December. Which, in turn, means no graduation until, at the earliest, December. I'm not totally in love with this idea, but I know that it's what's best for me right now. There have been a lot of opening and closing doors recently that have placed me pretty squarely in Tallahassee for next year - I think it's good for many reasons: I will still be close to all the ladies I love (Minus Aid, whom we all miss very much :( ), I can stay in my rad apartment, I can do all the "senior/college" activities that I have not yet been able to do, and I can study with my amazing teacher. Silver lining = found.

In other news/dews I have been pursued by several men lately... I guess the spring has sprung a few more things than tree pollen and flowers - which, lest we forget, are also for reproductive purposes, and when you arrive at your yellow car, remember to thank the random trees for trying to impregnate us all. - so, yes the boys have an itch to scratch. I'm not really finding anyone, however, that I really like spending time with. I enjoy making out, etc, but there's no substance. Perhaps a spring fling is in order to shake the dust of my drawers - it has been a while since I had quality or quantity in the downstairs department.

I have run into Gem a few times, he always promises to call and forgets to follow through. I realize that I should not try to compete with his thoughts, which... take up so much room in his head that I have no chance of making the list of things to think about in a day. I have gotten to a place where I do miss him, but I don't hurt anymore. I called him for the first time in months the other day when a friend and I were headed to lunch at the restaurant he now works for. He was there, it wasn't awkward - it just felt sadly empty. I don't know what he's up to and it simultaneously is and isn't my fault. To that end, I am allowing myself the option to call him, now that I feel fortified and restructured. I still think he's a great person and there is a possibility of a friendship there.

So. I love you all, take care of your beautiful selves and continue to grow into the person you want to be. This year, in retrospect, is encompassed by that phrase. I feel like I have become something and someone different, yet the same; a version of myself that is stronger, wiser and, hopefully, better equipped to function in this crazy little life I lead.

-AA