Mental Musketeering

I love alliteration! Been thinking lots - here's some of the product.

Three things to take away from today's message:
1) When life gives you a refrigerator, fill it
2) Don't wait for perfect because it'll never come
3) Parents are some of the kindest and wisest people in the world
(.... or in my world, and here on this little cyber planet of mine, that's all that really matters)

First:
- "If life gives you a refrigerator fill it." You may be saying to yourself, "what the hell does that even mean... I wish fate would plop a Maytag in my lap!?" This is akin to but not entirely related to the clichés 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth' and 'to every cloud there is a silver lining.' ( promise I'm not a nut bag) So, I thought about how I was feeling cold, dejected and empty as I floundered in the bedazzled world of Gem. As we know he has asked for the proverbial and albeit amorphous 'space'. Which kind of upset a few of the plates I was juggling, but here I am, still jugglin'. Anyway, my cold empty feeling of purposelessness was squishing me flat a la chair Gwyneth P. sits on in Shallow Hal and as I was driving a few days ago the thought of a Refrigerator popped into my head, as random images often do, and I began to think of how my life right now is like an empty fridge. I'm plugged in and running, but I can't move, I have no evident reason to exist because I serve little to no purpose being empty... blah blah blah... shady thinking was occurring. After that drive I realized that perhaps the better metaphor was that if I feel empty, to fill my time with people and projects that make me feel like I make a difference, that help me see my own value, and that empower me. I am choosing to spend my time making healthy choices emotionally and filling my life with the aforementioned people and projects, God knows I am surrounded by fabulous people, especially fabulous women. So friends, fill life's Jenn Air with the friends, family and fun that keep you alive and mentally stable. ;)


Second:
"Don't wait for perfect because it'll never come."
This little gem, (haha, irony) has been with me for a really long time and it was one of the firs inspirational quotes I coined for myself. This is not, in fact, a sad realization but rather a means of allowing you to live your life in progress. When I was a few years younger I thought it best to try and take every measure to "correct" myself before I began to date anyone post first boyfriend break-up. At first, for me this meant searching out every answer to every question and planning the future for myself, striving for perfection. Eventually I got to some fairly difficult questions like "when will I come out to Dad?" "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?" etc. and being unable to find those answers frustrated me without end. Finally I spoke with a very dear friend from high school who asked me why I was so concerned with finding all the answers to every question RIGHT NOW. Questions are a good tool to pinpoint issues to attend to but not fixate on. I realized that as much as I tried to prepare myself and this figurative place in my life for a significant other that I would never be able to stop questioning, there would always be a feature of myself and my life 'in progress' - if I waited until I was totally happy with everything about my life and myself then I would wait forever and never allow myself to date anyone. ---- I still strive for my best in all that I do and am picky about the product I produce but I realize that it is more important and healthy for me to do the best that I can with grace, as the person that I am. Perfect may never come, but I don't see that as a problem anymore.

Third:

This is just a commentary on the truly awesome parents that I have. My scholarship has basically been exhausted. I got $126.00 in financial aid this semester to cover a fee of almost $3,000. My parents, being the beautiful and supportive people that they are paid for it without question. I just want to say that this is a SUPER HUGE BIG GIANT DEAL to me and there are not words to express how unimaginably lucky I feel every day to be my parent's Son. <3 you Mom and Dad.


P.S.

A)
My computer and I are not agreeing at the moment, especially the keyboard. So, I apologize for things that are creatively spelled or words that run together but the keys don't always produce a letter on the screen and I don't always notice. - happy reading, lol.

B)
My hair is tending toward looking a little more like a brunette Carol Brady than the cool Brandon Boyd (singer from Incubus) that it has been up to impersonating lately.... I do believe I am in need of a new look! Excited!