Monday passed. I had a pretty decent day with plenty of laughter, smiles and friends. I celebrated a friend's birthday and then came home to the empty house. The cats don't seem to fill it like they used to... I am staying busy as I can be, making plans and seeing bright sides everywhere, I just need the bright sides to stick around longer and not fade into ash quite so quickly.
The remnants of Gem's text yesterday coupled with the words of the missed connection have been jostling around in my head all day making for lots of sighing and attempts to shift focus. It seems like so much longer than two weeks since I last saw him... and two weeks is kind of an absurd amount of time in its own right. My emotional dial seems to be set on pensive lately and I can't seem to accomplish much beyond thought, though I did do well in class and my voice lesson today. Encouraging things are happening in the voice studio and I am looking forward to my performances this semester but simultaneously I feel horribly unmotivated.
My brain, heart and house are in need of spring cleaning even though it is only the end of January. I have already taken steps this year that I never knew existed, but the thick dust of complacency has been settling all over and around me for quite some time and I feel like the time has come for me to feel new and shiny again. I need to take the baton only a bit further before I am finished with this race and these last hundred yards are where I should be sprinting to the finish line... not smothering myself in clouds of thought. No breath holding, only breathing and feet to the pavement.
Positive Vibes, Prayers and Practical Advice accepted, as always.
Sorry for the odd ramble.
Best and Love to you all,
-AA
Recipe :: Castelvetrano Olive & Celery Salad
2 years ago
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