What a way for the weekend to end.

The weekend began with my flight from Tallahassee. I left a pretty big cloud of dust rising behind me as I sped away from the city for 'a weekend in the country' (I love this song, though it is only slightly related) and by country I mean my home town.

I really enjoyed myself quite a bit! I stayed home with Mom and Dad Friday night, Mom and I went shopping Saturday and I got a very nice LINCS shirt from Stein Mart, very spring/summer with light periwinkle and lilac. - (I just gayed out, I know). After shopping for the better part of the day we went to Cracker Barrel. I had a very welcome, delicious dinner with the 'rents and had few nice moments of laughter - very uplifting. I talked to Peach online, which was also very nice, we caught up our respective stories.... they're becoming ever more like bad telenovelas, (the spanish version of the Soap Opera).

This morning came and I went to church with Mom and it was bearable. Don't get me wrong, I like church, but her pastor's nickname isn't Killjoy for nothing. He gave only a mildly abrasive sermon that had merit, so, given the possibilities, I was pleased. Unfortunately, the respite in the 'country' couldn't last forever. I had a fantastic afternoon and sqeezed in lunch laundry and nap - efficient, to say the least - and then drove back to town ready to face a new week....... and almost made it through a weekend without any emotional interference.

Alas, my perfect little bubble of a weekend had to burst SOME time.

I went to a pretty fantastic faculty concert tonight and got a text from Gem some time during the second half but didn't want to be the guy that texts during a recital. (In short, it truly is bad etiquette.) -- Add that one to the "Don't open candy while someone is playing/singing" and "No flash photography, especially with a disposable camera - so nineties and NOISY"

(He texted me yesterday to say hey and we had a short exchange... so that was nice)

SO anyway, to the part you've been waiting for. I finally get around to checking the message when I am all alone leaving the recital hall, and I am so excited that he texted... (because why would he text unless he wanted to seeee me?) I read the words: Did you by any chance type a missed connection for me?
My little excited butterflies withered into smoke and I responded in the negative and inquired about how he is doing... since I haven't seen him for two weeks or spoken to him since Thursday.

My curiosity peeked and my heart a little bruised I went to check out said missed connection and I find:

Title: For closure's sake
Date: 2010-01-23, 10:40AM EST
Body:

I think you just want attention from someone, but that someone can't be me anymore. During our times together everything was great. You would leave and I would not be able to stop smiling until I fell asleep. I'm not sure what you're looking for right now..I so badly want it to be me, but your actions speak louder than your words. I can't do this to myself after putting off relationships for so long, and it just seems so easy for you to push me away. You failed. This sucks. I'm going to miss you every time I see you, guaranteed. But this isn't going to work out.

Temporarily Yours Truly, M.


This sounds FEAKISHLY similar to my situation with Gem and signed with MY INITIAL, how I sign nearly ALL familiar emails. I entertained the thought that maybe someone did it for me to 'help me out.' but that faded pretty quickly. Though some of the details are true, I am not ready to kick him to the curb yet......

I sat at the library computer for what felt like hours sinking into the hole I thought I had just left behind.

I was so glad to have a place to go tonight. The Three Musketeers -Momma, Mix, and MackG who always seem to occur as a trio in my life invited me over. I had a good fourty-five minutes of fun - laughing about our board-gaming last Friday and making plans to do the same this Friday. I settled a bit from the terse and almost emotionless text from Gem, had a flute of Champagne and then came home to work on homework... which I still haven't done.

I talked to Eesh, who once again is doubting her talents because of a less than laudable first showing of a student production. - I told her that she'd done her best and that's all one can do and she bucked up a bit. Then I dished to her about life as a crusty old undergrad with boy problems who just wants someone to take care of him. She listened politely and didn't offer much that I hadn't already considered, but I really appreciated the ear and the heart she offered.

Now chatting up Peach and needing to get to bed. The day has been okay and I think I shall sleep well with the light breeze running through the trees next to my window - the left overs from the howling winds that tossed my truck around as I drove back to Tallanasty.

I shall introduce a new lady to you soon, a very good and dear friend that I am supposed to get my gym on with on Wednesday. You'll like her!! - I really should steal a page out of Peach's Blog and write a post indexing the people and more specifically the women of my life. Look for that one and sleep or daydream well dearest friends,

Best and love to you all,
-AA