Paradoxical Pontifications

Feeling empty and full, light and heavy, old and new today.

It seems like I always apologize for my absence from my "writing sphere" - I've meant to, but haven't made the time. Things have been moving quickly here - a quick update:

Hillz and I have moved to our new house, that was an ordeal to say the least. Pictures to come soon. It's handsome, and a little more than we can afford... but it's very charming. We're looking for a decent, non-crazy roommate. We met a guy yesterday that might be an option, but he is a bit too assertive for my style. C'est la vie.

I got into graduate school - which is exciting and scary all at once. I'll essentially be studying international higher education. Huzzah, a nice change of pace.

I've been collecting thoughts for you:
- I enjoy the smell of vanilla/coconut products from Bath and Body Works.
- I also have been having scents stuck in my head - the smell of a certain man's cologne, the smell of clean laundry, chocolate, and drinking water.
- I like the cool icy feeling of my ring when I put it back on after I get out of the shower in the morning.
- I prefer gluesticks to tape when doing projects.
- I've been sleeping on my back since we moved, and I don't hate it - always been a stomach sleeper.
- I am trying to decide what I want to do for my birthday. Turning 25 this year... I would like to do something that involves a location, but I can't decide where I'd like to go.


Essentially my life is settling down a bit, and I am glad that it is. I feel fragile lately - for lack of sleep, I guess. Stress at work has slowed exponentially for me, which is nice. This is the first time in my whole life where the summer has been hard. Where I can't spread out and unfold my thoughts - reorganize, recuperate, and restrategize. Instead of a feeling of mental space, it's been much more like a feeling of mental pressure, that somehow translates into fog. This is the first time that I haven't felt mentally robust - I'm counting on this feeling that's been sticking with me for about a month to pass. I've been taking vitamins and sleeping more this week to see if that helps at all.

There is cheer in my life, however. I'm enjoying putting the house together, seeing things fit nicely in spaces and watching the major pieces fall together naturally and nicely. There are a few rooms that make me want to buy new things!!! the dining room table is far too small for the room, there is an empty room between the Dining and living rooms that wants for something to fill it and my room is big enough for a king sized bed... I might get it as a present to myself. I think a little retail therapy couldn't hurt ... though after moving all of my things, I don't think I will ever move them again as long as I live in Tallahassee, no matter what I have to do.

There is a spare room, all ready for visitors... so please come stay!

The boys are buzzing about me lately. We'll see where that goes, but I have no expectations.

I've been scanning some of my doodles into PDF format, which has been fun. Nice to have "permanent" copies of things and it feels good to organize them into folders that make sense and make them easy to find. I feel like there are so many drawings I've had to get rid of or lost because they were on some loose piece of paper or an envelope - and I doodle constantly, so I have an ABUNDANCE of work.

In general putting things in order is soothing for me. My life has felt a little uprooted and putting it right side up, into "sensical" nice nuggets makes me happy.

I found a piece of art I particularly enjoyed on One King's Lane by Cezanne - it was a lithograph based on Baigneurs au repos. Something about it feels like exactly what I need right now - a lazy few days in the sun.

Momma and I are headed to Orlando for her birthday this weekend. I'm hoping that I don't repeat the explosive foolishness of last time... let's just say, it wasn't cute. At any rate, I'll be trying to "keep it cute" this weekend. I'll fill you in on how all that goes!

Love to you all, warm thoughts to you and yours, I miss my lovely ladies
AA